I Love You Pau Pau

Time: 11:40pm
Mood: Sad
Song of the moment: Jimmy Eat World - Big Casino

Today is the 2 year anniversary of my Pau Pau's passing. And I do miss her. I'm feeling sad today not only because I'm remembering my grandmother, but I found out that my Gung Gung (my grandfather) has dying of lung cancer. When I first heard the news I was wondering why it wasn't hitting me as hard as when I found out my grandmother was sick. I mean... my Gung Gung is my favorite person. When he has a stroke a few years ago I was devestated. It was hard for me to accept the fact that my Gung Gung was no longer the same person he was before. I think the reason why it didn't hit me as hard is b/c I've been preparing myself for a very long time. When I saw him two years ago, it was like I was seeing a completely different person. I've had time to accept the fact that he's sick, he's frail, and he can leave at any time.

The one person I feel for is my mom. Loosing her mom 2 years ago, and the potential of loosing her dad at any time is... I can't even begin to imagine what she is going through. All I can do is be there for her....

I love you Pau Pau..... and I miss you.....